A path to nothingness

 Time and again to ponder over such questions- why am I doing this? What is the purpose of the art I am making? ...useless again to visit this query prompted by my fickle mind. Many times, one might wonder- do I really need to do this? I mean- who really cares?? But the point is, that is not for me to decide. For this is what comes out from my soul and there is not much I can do about it.

So, probably just like a sparrow sings a song not because she wants to sing …it is because she was born with this song written in her heart…and this is what will always come out from her.

If I try to claim the position of an artist- a silent voice inside me calls out- “…?”

Thus, my soul speaks to me and says, I am not the artist- for the art resides somewhere else. And the song is also born much before I sang it. But to empty my self from the superficial notions and to become like a clear glass so that the light/song that is conceived somewhere else can pass through my being in the most unadulterated form is the only purpose in order to carry the privilege I am granted.

Just like Gibran says-

…the lamp which I carry
does not belong to me,
and the song that I sing was
not generated from within me. 
Even if I walk with light,
I am not the light;
and if I am a taut-stringed lute,
I am not the lute player.

The journey is towards the nucleus of my own being… the nucleus being the nothingness. Quiet often I am visited by maya. Time and again my journey is tested and my notions break. Again, I think the process in a way follows the path towards nothingness.

The person who is referred to as artist in this world, is also many other things- a friend, a caregiver, a student, a traveller…many identities while we exist in this world... artist being just one of them. So, for my own saying- I decided to not to label myself and if I call myself an artist-- will not mean much to me but maybe sometimes it is just for the reference for others till the time…

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