A path to nothingness

 Time and again to ponder over such questions- why am I doing this? What is the purpose of the art I am making? ...useless again to visit this query prompted by my fickle mind. Many times, one might wonder- do I really need to do this? I mean- who really cares?? But the point is, that is not for me to decide. For this is what comes out from my soul and there is not much I can do about it.

So, probably just like a sparrow sings a song not because she wants to sing …it is because she was born with this song written in her heart…and this is what will always come out from her.

If I try to claim the position of an artist- a silent voice inside me calls out- “…?”

Thus, my soul speaks to me and says, I am not the artist- for the art resides somewhere else. And the song is also born much before I sang it. But to empty my self from the superficial notions and to become like a clear glass so that the light/song that is conceived somewhere else can pass through my being in the most unadulterated form is the only purpose in order to carry the privilege I am granted.

Just like Gibran says-

…the lamp which I carry
does not belong to me,
and the song that I sing was
not generated from within me. 
Even if I walk with light,
I am not the light;
and if I am a taut-stringed lute,
I am not the lute player.

The journey is towards the nucleus of my own being… the nucleus being the nothingness. Quiet often I am visited by maya. Time and again my journey is tested and my notions break. Again, I think the process in a way follows the path towards nothingness.

The person who is referred to as artist in this world, is also many other things- a friend, a caregiver, a student, a traveller…many identities while we exist in this world... artist being just one of them. So, for my own saying- I decided to not to label myself and if I call myself an artist-- will not mean much to me but maybe sometimes it is just for the reference for others till the time…

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Chapter 4, A dramatic day!

Image
                                                  working on the mountain                                                                                          Linh on the day of the exhibition                               Spending time on the mountain for my project...the mountain in return did give me some moments of strangeness and amusement. One of the days as I was packing my bag to go to the mountain, my roommate, Linh just came in and gave me a corn chapati prepared by her wrapped in a newspaper. This gesture surprised me in a much pleasant manner and I ...
Read more

An eternal symbol of seeking

Image
Given to the god of death- Yama by his own father in a fit of anger, child Nachiketa sat at the doors of the god of death for three days without food or water. When Yama found Nachiketa at his door, pleased by his sincerity, Yama granted him three boons. For the third boon, Young Nachiketa desired the knowledge of what happens to a being after death- for the wait and the disillusionment after the whole incident left him wanting to know the truth. Even after Yama insisted that he cannot reveal the sacred knowledge and that Nachiketa can ask for anything else in the world, he had to surrender before the determination of the child. image courtesy Kala Kshetram The boon was indeed granted by Yama and child Nachiketa became an eternal symbol of determination and seeking. The quest for self- realization and self- knowledge is ancient. Came many seekers in search of knowledge and prophets to quench the thirst for knowledge and still we find the dialogue lost in interpretation. For ...
Read more

If it matters

To experience the season that is passing through…is the only choice a tree has. For it's not the tree but the principles laid by mother (nature) that decide what the skies, the wind, the land will offer to its existence. While the tree engages in the dialogue with the passing season, and the transformation that takes place, happens as a response to the process it is going through. The clouds that cross the forest rain, the wind blows- as a breeze or as thunder, the cold, the sunshine…all part of the process. The process one’s existence is bound to follow as soon as the life in matter begins. For it's not the being in the matter (the tree) that decides what season it will experience…and how they transform it?  But it is for the cosmos to decide…(as if one life in matter matters that much?)  
Read more