Probability of Being

 Time and again to ponder over such questions- why am I doing this? What is the purpose of the art I am making? ...useless again to visit this query prompted by my fickle mind. Many times, one might wonder- do I really need to do this? I mean- who really cares?? But the point is, that is not for me to decide. For this is what comes out from my soul and there is not much I can do about it. So, probably just like a sparrow sings a song not because she wants to sing …it is because she was born with this song written in her heart…and this is what will always come out from her. If I try to claim the position of an artist- a silent voice inside me calls out- “…?” Thus, my soul speaks to me and says, I am not the artist- for the art resides somewhere else. And the song is also written much before I sang it. But to empty my self from the superficial notions and to become like a clear glass so that the light/song can pass through my being is the only purpose in order to carry the priv...

  If the artist cannot connect to space they are working on, the space does not respond…time and again I keep struggling for that connection that starts the equation/dialogue. For many times I wait – wait for a long time ...and sometimes something inspires me to take a leap of faith and dive into the space- making random strokes and allow myself to be impulsive. The unknown acts in more mysterious ways that one can think of…or in better words… its beyond the understanding of the limited human perception of our minds. I always consider the unknown as my teacher. And the equation many times or most of the times requires getting into the state of surrender and practice faith. While I was in a 10 days residency with Art for change organization- the place where all the artists were lodged, I saw this line from the Bible written on a crimson lake colored wall -- “ we walk by faith and not by sight ”— and this, so far explains most of the equation and the journey in a way best possible....

Part of my work in progress Just as nature follows a pattern and also unfollows. As if the pattern is a routine and randomness and spontaneity is what makes it all alive. Just like life is an assemblage of many things done and undone…and many things are undone after done. The same way a painting is a journey of doing and undoing…learning and unlearning. Just like many visuals that cross our eyes and while some get registered in the memory whereas some cross unregistered. Like many memories we lived…we remember some in clarity, but some just leave a faint stain. Well, that is what is the amalgamation of experiences of the state of being alive and being aware of existence. The patches of lines in order on my canvas forming a clear pattern maybe shows my syncing with the energies of nature when it follows a pattern and a series of broken lines are maybe the manifestation of the dynamics that goes on while life and order are being created every day. Just like through connection with the ...

(A part of my work in progress) The simplicity of mere existence, a simple presence of a line in a space, a random stroke of color… As random as the flow of water, every free- floating atom in the air, the presence of every particle of dust…all of it combines to present a larger-than-life persona of the earth.   And how does it matter if a particle exists or not in the larger picture? but I think every particle is given a chance to carry certain energies and be a part of the greater flow…just to be a part of the flow and enjoy mere existence. As per the human mind, it is conditioned to find ‘meaning’ in everything in order to feed the mind that does not really exist but is a made-up thing that gives a certain satisfaction to a man’s ego who needs some intellectual stimulation in order to feel superficially empowered and in control of everything that goes around. The only point I am trying to make is, what if instead of judging or ‘figuring out’ one may try to assume the position...

Born in India, my roots were fed with innocent seeds of beliefs and spirituality like most of the children of this subcontinent. And it doesn’t really matter what religion your family is following…the roots and the nourishment remains the same for most of the Indian kids. My elders used to tell me about the auspiciousness of the early hours of the morning..like how if you get up early morning, your senses would be sharp…how the dawn is the most powerful hour when the whole divinity is awakened and is ready to bless anyone who is seeking their blessings. As my fingers started holding a pencil and as I started making some kind of drawings, one such day, inspired by what elders were teaching me, I just got up before the sunrise…took a blank sheet and a pencil and sat outside in the balcony where a rose plant was planted in a broken tin container. There was also a delicate kind of creeper of a mauve- indigo flower (butterfly pea flower or Aparajita in Hindi) …again my first memories of ...

“Probably we are pilgrims, moving silently in our sleep…as sleepwalkers- for we are scared and maybe embarrassed by our own awakening….”   A bird sings a song because she has a song written in her heart- does she sings it to please the world? Or she sings not knowing why she is singing? Some of us might walk silently like pilgrims walking in their sleep and some of us might find a song in their heart which they will sing whether they are sleep-walking or are awakened… for it’s the song that needs to be sung, and it’s the walk that needs to be walked. And this may be the purpose of every soul who is seeking the source of words that composes the song. Every act in our existence is a manifestation of our seeking…and not knowing about it is the state of sleep many of us enjoy till the moment of awakening. And after that starts the journey to the unknown. coming back after a brief period of what they call it- a writer’s block the above writeup many might find as a heavy dose of philo...

Facing a blank canvas is like facing an unknown region of yourself and accepting this space to work upon is like accepting dialogue with the unknown. In a random discussion on Indian mythology, I once heard this theory about the difference between Shri Vishnu( the preserver) and Shri Shiva (the destroyer) that in Hindu rituals, when they worship Shri Vishnu, he is always offered processed things like, curd, ghee, butter, etc. and that represents the processing of an individual. Like the one who worships Shri Vishnu must grow up in a way to follow the dharma of the society, should follow all the dharma associated with being a householder, a father, a son, a friend etc. To become a householder or to carry on with the dharma of a social being since, Shri Vishnu is a preserver- a preserver of the society as well. On the other hand, Shri Shiva (the supreme god -the god of destruction and the spirit within us) would accept everything unprocessed. That is raw milk, wildflowers/fruits which no...